


The Silence Where You Once Stood

by TwistedToxic



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bruce is implied to be a bad parent, Gen, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt No Comfort, Jason Todd was Robin, Jason wasn't killed by the Joker, Jason's death isn't shown though, Slightly graphic mention of Jason's death, Suicide, These men also need a fucking break, This hurt me to write, but this is not the fic they get it, depends on which idea you go with here, he commits suicide instead, no matter how unintentional it may be, short but painful, suicide aftermath, these men need hugs but that's not going to happen here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25636078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedToxic/pseuds/TwistedToxic
Summary: This... It was different. It was always different when it was a family member's glazy, lifeless eyes you stared down into. Nobody would have blamed Dick if he wanted to take off work early. Hell, anybody else would have, instead of compartmentalizing it into your work and bottling it up until it tears you down and apart from the inside and out. Dick didn't want to go home, because some fucked up little fragment inside his chest wanted, hoped that it was all a sick joke. A nightmare he'd wake up from and his baby brother would be in the room down the hall, snarking at him when he checked up on him. It felt empty and hollow where Jason once was in his heart. He couldn't face Bruce.He couldn't sit there while Jason's chair remained empty, and would be empty forevermore. Emptiness would fill where Jason once laughed and bounded around in his Robin suit when laughter filled the halls of the Manor and the gritty streets of Gotham.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	The Silence Where You Once Stood

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you, this was agonizing for me to write. Then again, I am a sadist when it comes to all things Batfam. There's not going to be much in the beginning note because I'm way too excited to format and publish my other two fics, haha! I promise they're not going to be brutal like this and the previous fic are. Unless I get a plot bunny I can't ignore
> 
> As again, due to the content, I have to clarify that I'm not suicidal, because this was merely a plot bunny. Second of all, there are somewhat graphic lines talking about Jason's suicide, and considering this deals with suicide, please be careful and take care of yourselves when reading this!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this! As much as you can, at least, considering the content.

Dick was the one to find the body. He remembers his little brother's twisted, broken body a mess on the cold and unforgiving Gotham pavement like it were yesterday. Everyone wanted to tell Dick that Jason fell, but he knew better. This was deliberate. He knew the second he saw the body because he's seen it thousands of times before, but not Jason.

This... It was different. It was always different when it was a family member's glazy, lifeless eyes you stared down into. Nobody would have blamed Dick if he wanted to take off work early. Hell, anybody else would have, instead of compartmentalizing it into your work and bottling it up until it tears you down and apart from the inside and out. Dick didn't want to go home, because some fucked up little fragment inside his chest wanted, _hoped_ that it was all a sick joke. A nightmare he'd wake up from and his baby brother would be in the room down the hall, snarking at him when he checked up on him. It felt _empty_ and _hollow_ where Jason once was in his heart. He couldn't face Bruce.

He couldn't sit there while Jason's chair remained empty, and would be empty forevermore. Emptiness would fill where Jason once laughed and bounded around in his Robin suit when laughter filled the halls of the Manor and the gritty streets of Gotham.

There wasn't even a _note_. He should've seen the signs, even if he knew damn well Jason hid it until it finally collapsed. Would he have killed himself if Dick was a better brother? Would he have killed himself if he was there more? Would he still be at the table, laughing with Dick when he told a particularly shitty joke, if only Bruce had been a father more, and not the Batman?

* * *

It was silent when he got home. It was always silent now. Patrols were silent, and Bruce was beginning to grow more violent with criminals. Dick would tell Bruce to calm down, but he felt it too. He wanted to do nothing more than punch a criminal like it would bring Jason back. It still didn't feel real. _Nothing_ did anymore.

Dick sat at the table across from Bruce. Bruce looked weary, no matter how much he slept. Only five days ago... Jason was sitting at the table, laughing while he played with his food, gently being scolded by Alfred. Dick already missed his laughter that he'd never hear again. Bruce opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. For once, Bruce was _speechless_ , and the only sound in the manor that felt so empty was the clock on the wall, ticking the time away. If only the time took away the pain they both felt.

Dick was the first of them to speak. "We _need_ to talk about this, Bruce."

"What is there to say, Dick?" Bruce sounded _ages_ older, eyes growing heavier the longer this went on, and knowing Dick, this was going to be a thing. "Jay is dead. He killed himself. What am I _supposed_ to say? If he would be with us today if I was a better father? I know I've made my mistakes, but now there's nothing left to say or do to make up for it." His voice was gruff and angry at first until it started to break down into shaking breaths. "Was he afraid? Did he feel unloved? Alone? If we can't have him back, I just wish I knew _why_." He clenched his fist until the fork began to bend from the stress.

Dick faltered, and if he didn't have an appetite when he sat at the table, it would have been gone now. It took every fiber in his body not to slam his fists upon the table, to yell at Bruce because the red took over his vision at the statement.

_Red like the stains on the pavement, the body-_

Dick hadn't realized he was breathing heavily, hands trembling while he glared at Bruce until Alfred was placing a hand upon his shoulder.

"Master Richard-"

"Bruce, he's... Jason is gone. My brother is _dead_." He started. Deep breaths, Dick. Deep breaths. "There's _nothing_ we can do to get him back. As much as I hate it..." The statement trailed off into the silence of the ticking clock once more.

He knows Jason suffered when he died. Bruce was suffering enough, and the last thing he needed was to know his Jaylad suffered before death as evidenced by the expression permanently etched upon his lifeless body. _Dick living with that knowledge was punishment enough._

* * *

It's been two months now, while Dick stood in the empty room. What wasn't out of the room was shattered. The only thing that was still intact in the room was the bookshelf. He wanted to pull one of the books out, but it physically hurt him to try. It was like he was tainting something sacred. It was tainted enough while he desperately held onto the memory of a brother who would never be gush to Dick about a book he had been reading again.

He looked at the first picture he and Jason ever took together that stood on the empty desk. Dick looked as cold as he felt, the man with a plastered smile on his lips while the little boy could barely contain his energy next to him, eyes and smile wide. He remembered telling Jason he couldn't touch him. He regretted that. He regretted everything he'd said and done. He felt hot tears welling up in his eyes until they rolled down his cheeks. He clenched the picture, not caring if the broken glass dug into his hand. He could only pick up the pieces, like he could only pick up the pieces Jason had left behind. An anomaly had caught his attention, so he reached under the desk to investigate.

There was a picture against the wall, like it was supposed to blend in. He grabbed the white frame, and stared at it. The only picture that was still intact in the room, but the glass was written on in sharpie. It was the two of them still in costume after one of their patrols, a little smudge of a chilidog on the Robin's face. It was like he could reach out and wipe it off him. He sniffled, desperately trying to stop his tears so he could look at Jason's handwriting. An arrow pointed to him, and one to Dick.

_'My big brother, Dickie! I tell him he's not funny, but he makes me feel less alone on the bad nights.'_

_'That's me! Check it out, I'm Robin!'_

Dick sat on the floor before he could fall to his knees, smiling at the picture. He remembered that night, but it only felt like an illusion of a lonely man now that Jason was...

He sobbed, clutching the picture to his chest, tears falling onto the floor that he couldn't stop if he tried. Dick wanted to shatter it, as if it would make Jason feel how his death made him feel, but all he could do was cry.

"Jason, _why_? Why did you do it, Little Wing?" His voice was a hushed whisper, drowned out by his tears.

_Oh God, he only wished his Little Wing knew how much he was missed._

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was going to be much more graphic, but that would have meant making it explicit, and whole lot more triggering. Personally, I got this plot bunny from thinking about what if Bruce didn't find and have the article deleted from 'Bad News', but seeing it as that or him committing suicide instead of being killed by the Joker both work. Speaking of other fics, I went back to my crack fic and just about had a stroke because wow, sleep deprived Twisted was not kidding when they said it was a dumpster fire, but I'll be damned if I didn't crack up at the sheer stupidity of it, haha.
> 
> I promise, promise, promise the other two fics at least have some fluff in them! I may be a sadist but even I have my angst limits, haha! If only I could stop getting ideas, start working on them, then put them on hiatus for new ideas, because my fic ideas and drafts are piling up, haha.
> 
> As always, please let me know if you need the rating changed or if you need tags added! Thank you so much for reading! It means so much to me!


End file.
